here’s something i posted on facebook the other day:
“i've been applying to new jobs for a little over 2 months now. i've gone through interviews with a bunch of companies, and either turned down or been turned down by all of them. simultaneously, about 2 weeks ago, two jobs offered me positions. one to be a Junior Systems Engineer for a very large telecom company, and one to be the sole IT person at the Denver office of a very large law firm.
i accepted the systems engineer position. it's a contracting position so i did all the onboarding via the recruitment agency. they sent me my start date and onboarding paperwork. i filled it out. i got a call that day from the law firm and they offered me a job, which i politely declined due to this other offer.
i told my boss the situation and he said that i was fine to leave whenever, but i needed to give at least a week's notice so that he could make arrangements. that was cool with me, so i told him my start date and he made the arrangements. normally i wouldn't say anything about me leaving and just let them know on the day i quit, but it's important that some of these people like me because they know a lot of people in denver and because they have offered to help me multiple times. valuable bridges so i can't burn them without hurting myself.
then the recruiting company asked me to do a drug test. i went and did it and it came back diluted. they asked me to retake the drug test because it was diluted the first time -- this was a little over a week ago -- i did the drug test and they revised my start date and got me set up with the telecom company's internal systems. the drug test didn't come back for a while bc hurricane ida closed the testing facility. my start date was moved to today, the 15th.
then, yesterday, i got an email that my 2nd drug test came back as diluted as well, and as such, i could not have the position. i called the man who sent me the email and he didn't respond, so i called the recruiter and she didn't respond, so i sent a response email asking what could be done to remedy the situation and asking why i would be punished for something that is completely outside of my control. they "empathized" with me and then told me i couldn't have the job but they'd look for a new position for me somewhere else.
i emailed the law firm explaining that i'm back on the market and asking if the position was filled yet, but i haven't heard back, and i'm not hopeful.
so i went from having a pretty good job, to being offered a great job, to having no job. i feel pretty defeated at the moment and not at all motivated to continue searching for a job. just completely ravaged.”
i’ve since been contacted by a few recruiters. i’ve had some interviews. on friday i was offered a job as a help desk person for a construction company based out of lafayette, which is about 35 minutes (without traffic) to the north of me. i have no interest in the job but it pays slightly better than my old gig ($55,000 per year opposed to $53,000) and ya know, it’s a job when i’m unemployed. i imagine i will be very bored and the commute might kill me in more sense than one.
i’ve lost just about all motivation to work on any hobbies i have and i spend a lot of time bored as shit and staring blankly at the wall. leah and i sometimes go and do stuff. sometimes i get drunk. bennett and i hang out. all 3 of us play cribbage or 7 wonders.
the other day we bought tzolk’in which is a board game and we tried to play it and it went poorly. leah and i revisited it just the two of us and it went slightly better but still poorly. the rule book is laid out in such a way that understanding the game was arduous and frustrating. by the time leah and i had figured out the rules i was so burnt out on it i had no interest in playing it again, haven’t revisited it since. hard to imagine wanting to play it again bc of how fucking annoying it is.
i sit down a lot and i play some chess and some slay the spire. i played horizon: zero dawn which was fun. a central plot point of horizon zero dawn is the use of a noble lie in order to galvanize the world population into action. the morality of the decision is never discussed and imo skipping that discussion is a pretty large flaw due to the fact that the game takes place in a world that could only exist through that lie’s efficacy and thus could only have a right to exist based on that lie’s morality. it’s just kind of weird but overall it’s a fun game and the story is gripping.
i haven’t been reading or writing much at all. or going outside very often except on my porch. or doing much of anything. it’s hard to motivate me at the moment. hopefully that changes. it’s not lookin great.
i’d like to do some traveling soon. i am filling out a passport application at the moment so i can go to mexico in january for my sister’s wedding which i am looking forward to. my family will be there and so will i which is one of my favorite circumstances. i am going to buy some new clothes for the event which is nice because i need new clothes. i hope the supply chain issues don’t get much worse.
playlist:
Labi Siffre - Crying, Laughing, Loving, Lying
Ahmad Jamal - Autumn In New York
osquinn - can you really blame me for how i react?
BADBADNOTGOOD - Time Moves Slow (feat. Sam Herring)
King Krule - The Ooz
Kelly Moran / Prurient - Hymn
Julieta Venegas - Todo inventamos
Joanna Newsom - Cassiopeia
Haunted Disco - i can't sleep
Girls Rituals - Helicopter Bladezzz
Gaspard Augé - Captain
Fergie - Big Girls Don't Cry (Personal)
Earl Sweatshirt - Nowhere2go
Donald Byrd - Think Twice
Djrum - Arcana (Coda)
Daniel Avery - Endless Hours
D'Angelo and The Vanguard - The Door
amaarae - SAD GIRLZ LUV MONEY
quick note: i didn’t order these tracks at all. they’re just sorta in there. it’s a good playlist anyway though.
mega: https://mega.nz/folder/uRcEUDDJ#204wq3FsMwVJ-Vd4_MCPTw
youtube: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL4bUgvWbrZGLGK7ymXqdLqUKiDPW-w0Qi
Trees don't live in the sky, and clouds don't swim
In the salt seas, and fish don't leap in wheatfields,
Blood isn't found in wood, nor sap in rocks.
By fixed arrangement, all that live and grows
Submits to limit and restrictions