i’ve got a goal of getting 5 more tattoos by the end of the year so i’m gonna start making appointments even though i have no idea what i want on my body rn.
im tryin to teach myself to like shit that i didn't like before because the periods of my life that have been defined by stagnation have been the least happy for me, and i know that if i am able to overcome these very deep frustrations i will be a much happier person.
this effort has crystalized in the form of not playing video games, being more proactive in my approach to domestic activities, learning to script / automate aspects of my job, learning to make music, and spending more time reading.
a thought on baudelaire:
don’t read baudelaire. there are people out there who would tell you to read baudelaire. be suspicious of baudelaire fans.
i’ve been struggling with writing a new post for this substack bc i’ve been up to shit recently and the more i do the harder it is to write. i’m bored as shit at work rn tho so it’s coming back. i spent a week in california with my family and on the way home i wrote a small note on my phone about the events while switching back and forth between playing cribbage on my phone and reading autobiography of red by anne carson.
my best friend lives with me and it’s nice as hell. we hang out all the time and it’s easy as shit he’s literally right there. very strange and cool.
sometimes i’ll be in the middle of an activity like rolling a joint or locking my front door or walking down the street to the park or smoking a joint at the park or walking back from the park or unlocking my front door and i’ll be thinking about my brother noah. a few years ago he told me that he thought that art is just interaction by humans. that is, anything a human does is art, anything a human interacts with becomes art. i told him that seemed like a less restricted version of how i view art, which is that anything a person calls art is art. he asked how it was less restricted and i said that if you call something art you’re necessarily interacting with it but if you interact with it you’re not necessarily calling it art. etc.
sometimes i’m overwhelmed by how little i know about the things that i know a lot about and then i feel great relief when i remember that i know a ton and the things i’m feeling are all bullshit
there’s a phenomena in customer service where customer service ppl become increasingly frustrated with customers over time. like when u help one person plug their computer in it’s completely mundane. but then by the 10th person it’s annoying, and by the 1000th you’re just kinda pissed u know? but it’s a funny thing bc the customer service person is seeing an issue and mapping it onto all of these interactions, and then being frustrated at the presence of that pattern. a counterintuitive way to engage with this frustration is to view each interaction as completely unique, even if the solution is mirrored through all of them, as a means to see the issue as a particular problem caused by the relationship between the person experiencing the issue and the item with which they’re engaging. like the problem is unique each time it’s presented to u bc it’s a unique person on the other end of the phone. u ought to always engage the person and not the problem is another way to phrase it. the goal of this reframing is to avoid the frustration of doing the same thing over and over and instead to focus on connecting with people.
i’ve noticed that when i’m talking i’m not thinking but often i think while talking? if that makes sense?
just not really feeling it lately
playlist:
Freddie Gibbs & Madlib - [Piñata CD1 #14] Knicks
Sebii - [Visored Vitality CD1 #02] Butterfly Bankai
Vince Staples - [Vince Staples CD1 #05] TAKING TRIPS
Devin The Dude - [The Dude #04] Do What You Wanna Do
Bfb Da Packman - [God Blessing All the Fat N****s CD1 #09] Margarine
Ketchy the Great - [Free Sauce CD1 #04] If I Go Broke Pt. 2 (feat. 03 Greedo)
Slick Rick - [The Great Adventures Of Slick Rick #10] Hey Young World
Th1rt3en (Pharoahe Monch, Daru Jones & Marcus Machado) - [A Magnificent Day For An Exorcism #05] Goats Head
T.I. - [Trap Muzik #04] No More Talk
Shabazz Palaces - [The Don of Diamond Dreams CD1 #08] Money Yoga (feat. Darrius)
Ruff Ryders - [Ryde or Die, Vol. 1 CD1 #13] Do That Shit
Roc Marciano - [Mt. Marci #11] Baby Powder
POLO G - [THE GOAT CD1 #05] Go Stupid (ft. Mike Will Made-It)
Pink Siifu & Fly Anakin - [FlySiifu's CD1 #17] Waiting To Get Shot
Conway the Machine - [La Maquina #04] Clarity
Madvillain - [Madvillainy 2: The Madlib Remix #22] Never Go Pop
mega: https://mega.nz/folder/XMdhWYjb#RQKa4gzm42s3H8KtXoQurQ
youtube: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL4bUgvWbrZGJQgkrV7tSb1iz3HG9YELcg