it’s been a year since i started this substack! how silly is that. let’s do some reflection.
posted 21 entries here
made 21 playlists
averaged 12 readers per post
made $100
delivered to 20~ people on average
open rate of 31% on average
i didn’t have much of a goal for this substack besides posting things that my family and friends could read that i would otherwise have posted on facebook because i stopped using my old facebook account for the most part. i enjoy writing here because there are no standards and a very small audience. i’m proud of the things i’ve written here. primarily because i wrote them without anyone asking me to. i’ve often worried that the way i engage with things is counterproductive to progress within it. that is, i usually do things that i enjoy because i enjoy them and when i stop enjoying them i stop doing them. joy, as some of you may know, can be reached through a lot of shortcuts. you can enjoy playing chess by only playing people who are bad at chess. eventually though you will realize that you’re not any better at chess, and it’s not fun anymore to beat shitters all the time. what you’ll discover as well is that, because you’ve invested your time into the shortcut, you have no experience developing your understanding of how to improve. so if you want to keep enjoying chess, you have to completely renegotiate your relationship to it.
for me, that looks like developing bad habits because they are natural, and not working to implement and internalize best practices because it is harder and less immediately rewarding. when i started playing ping pong with andrew a lot during my senior year, i realized early on that i only used my backhand. i could not get myself to hit forehand. it was more natural for me to use my backhand, it felt more intuitive, and it gave me immediate success. but as time went on, and as andrew improved (he is very good at improving) the skill gap between us widened. when i left college, i tried to continue playing ping pong, but without the comfort of friendship to help me attempt to overcome my poor habits, i found that i was both uninterested in trying to develop a forehand and not enjoying playing the game anymore. my opponents were too much better than me for me to enjoy losing to them, and my lack of understanding of how to properly coach myself into improvement was causing me to see no progress in my performance.
what’s nice about this substack is that i don’t really enjoy doing it. but i keep doing it and i’ve gotten better at doing it. i have improved at sitting and writing and writing until there was something that i was interested in sharing. and the posts themselves, when i reflect on them and read them again and revisit, are all things i feel comfortable with having assocaited with my name in one way or another.
i don’t really have any goals for this substack or for what weird little writing i do or anything else i make but i am happy to do it and track it and everything else. thanks for reading and sometimes telling me how you feel and one time sending me money (thank you bennett :)) and for downloading the playlists and all that.
playlist:
Kanye West - [Donda CD1 #13] Moon
Kelly Lee Owens - [Kelly Lee Owens (Extended Version) #05] Evolution
Dazegxd & Dirty Bird - [d&db.nfo CD1 #02] give it 2 me
DJ PERIGOSO - [Calor No Frioo #02] MacoBayou
Billie Eilish - [Happier Than Ever #03] Billie Bossa Nova
6LACK - [6pc Hot #04] Know My Rights (Featuring Lil Baby)
Blood Orange - [Angel's Pulse #08] Gold Teeth (Feat. Project Pat, Gangsta Boo & Tinashe)
Yungmorpheus & Ewonee - [Thumbing Thru Foliage CD1 #05] Middle passage
Rich Boy - [Rich Boy #04] Throw Some D`s (feat. Polow Da Don)
Remble - [IT’S REMBLE CD1 #05] Ruth’s Chris Freestyle (feat. Drakeo the Ruler)
bigmutha - [Muthaleficent 2 #03] Muthaleficent March (prod. Rock Floyd / Outby16 & Keadrean)
Boldy James & The Alchemist - [The Price Of Tea In China #08] S.N.O.R.T. feat. Freddie Gibbs
ZelooperZ - [Van Gogh's Left Ear #12] Andrea Bocelli
Pooh Shiesty - [Gucci Mane Presents: So Icy Summer #18] 7.62 God
03 Greedo, Kenny Beats, Vince Staples - [Netflix & Deal CD1 #05] Blue People (feat. Vince Staples)
$tupid Young - [From Here On Out CD1 #06] Suppose To (feat. Blueface & Mike Sherm)
$ilkMoney - [Attack of the Future Shocked, Flesh Covered, Meatbags of the 85 #13] Did You Getcho Check, Lih Brah?
mega: https://mega.nz/folder/GJdnHKqT#NnA7gqPr3uT4if3_JXoQfw
youtube: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PL4bUgvWbrZGJIkqmLdLdM7Zpwudmrtoqe